Monday, 17 September 2012

X Factor UK auditions Week 5 Pt 2: Now you see them, now you don't.

It's the last week of audition clips. Blink and you'll miss some. In theory we should now have seen the winner and every act for the Live Shows (which is really when the series gets properly under way). Yet more bizarre editing by the new production team means that we never know quite where we are, who the guest judge will be next or even whether we're watching one of several audition recordings at times.

Another group bounds on stage to start the show. Rough Copy comprise three fun and hyperactive guys with sensible jobs. They're pretty good and clearly can entertain and hit most of the right notes at the right time, in so far as rap needs either. Some decent voices in there too and, having seen so few groups so far, they must be likely to get through at least to Judges' Houses and I'd reckon a bit further if they can keep up the standard.

Some guy called Clapz and another called Dale fly past the screen with about 5 seconds each. Both seem OK but we'll have to wait for bootcamp to learn more. Adam B gets a lot more time, possibly a hint as to how he gets on, with a serious and seriously good audition with a hat and a guitar.

Triple J - another group - are decidedly average but manage some decent harmonies. They just don't look like the sort of band you'd expect to see on an album cover. They all look married, settled down with semi detached suburban lives at 23.

George Shelley is sort of OK in the few seconds we get, Nathan F Gayle has a great voice and attitude and I have a feeling we'll see more of him - he seems to be called Boy Nathan in some reports but I don't know where that came from.


Robbie Hance was the stand-out audition for me. Playing guitar and singing from the heart, right in tune and totally natural as if he'd been doing this for years. I can imagine people going to concerts to listen to this chap and buying his albums. No, he's not the sexy strutter or long-legged blonde - more like Paul Simon with hair. Absolutely brilliant, with one of the very few full length auditions we get to see.

A bundle of bad singers come and go and you can almost predict that, with eight minutes to go, it's time for the last act which is the one the producers reckon is the One To Talk About afterwards so we'll remember to come back next week. Carolynn Poole you may remember from last year. She made it through to Louis' boot camp where she was booted out in favour of people like JonJo, Mary from Tescos and Johnnie Robinson. I didn't think that made much sense then and nice to see her back. This could be the first time we've had someone who got that far returning in a following year. Maybe if Amelia Lily hadn't been pipped to the Number 1 spot in this week's chart by The Voice's Danny, the Script and then she might have been thinking about having another go with a better mentor too! Looks like she's going to do fine now, though.

Carolynn is excellent and must stand a good chance of getting to the Live Shows this time, and with Gary running her group this time, her ability to hit the right notes and be reliable on the telly should help.

Still convinced that we can't possibly have seen all the acts that make it through yet, I switch over to the much better produced Xtra Factor and, in between shots of Caroline Flack's legs and hearing that laugh of hers, look for signs of talent in amongst some other auditions.

I tend not to bother commenting on the dead acts but couldn't help but smile at a weird Japanese guy in a green hat shouting 'Herro Rondon' at the start. For some reason that escapes me now ITV2 blur out Gary's V signs at some point in the funny exchange that takes place. And there's Nicole on the panel, that's a rarity - and possibly, according to some news sources, the last time we will see her on the panel anyway. No, the Japanese guy can't sing.

Back in Liverpool now and Geri's on the panel. She's not the most popular girl in the world but she has been a good judge so far. Her panel gets to see the Poisonous Twin audition. I'd seen some preview pictures of these and thought they hadn't got through but they do. They're not bad, could be a lot of fun and, yes, they're a bit out of tune but more because of nerves than inability to know which notes they should have sung. They're honest and nothing like as brash and annoying as you would expect. Those teeth, though, especially on one of them, are glaringly white. Not a good look, unless you're in Essex. I can see I shall have to turn the contrast down on my TV if they more on past bootcamp. With so few groups so far - and this is about it by now - they might even do just that in a sort of Jedward move.

After another switch of judges, Rita gets to make eyes at a bloke from Venezuela who is pretty forgettable but may win the Caracas version of the show. Nicole's back again a few minutes later - boy, is this confusing, - and Dale Ali gets a second chance to impress us with an Olly Murs Mk2 audition that wasn't at all bad.

Talking of Olly, the show ends with the lad out and about again - meeting Ryland from the very first show. Ryland was blonde with black roots but is now black with blonde roots. We get to see the contents of his make-up cupboard. He has also had an extraordinary white teeth job done and looks quite ridiculous.

So that's all folks. Blink and you might have missed the winner. Over to Betfair now to see if they've got a clue. To be honest, I haven't. I'll get hold of the videos and watch them again - I have a feeling it won't be too difficult to get a top 12 out of this lot. Bootcamp should be a doddle.

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