I am beginning to think that some of the Just Eat people are as good as many of the people auditioning this year. We get a fuzzy intro for the Saturday show and it all has a distinctly 2004 feel about it. Fortunately, although there are the ageing Simon, Louis and Sharon, there is no Steve Brookstein.
Once again, I have a feeling many viewers may have switched over as the start featured some chap called Amrick, a male Asian Honey G who is dreadful to watch as well as listen to. Yet, somehow, three of the four judges ruddy well vote him through. How can that possibly make sense?
Beverley follows and is awful. Young Benji is just 17 and it's one of those set-up auditions where he gets stopped after a short time in the first song and gets asked to do another. He does and makes Boot Camp.
Tracy Leanne Jefford has a classic Essex accent, although, as a 'traveller', she may come from many places. She's interesting, at least, but not spectacular. Simon gives the game away a bit by remarking afterwards that she's the kind of act that people will like to see on TV.
Two more come and go dreadfully badly and I am beginning to think about giving up on this audition stage and just waiting for the Judges Houses round. This is turning into some sort of Oldies Entertainment Show.
Russel Jones arrives and he sings in Old People's Homes, which kinda continues the theme! He is, however, the first good act we see tonight with a performance of I Wanna Be Like You which sounds like it should have been rubbish but wasn't. I can see him doing well as the jazz thing could work well. Remember Ray from around 2008?
We are now in Edinburgh and Alysha Dixon has replaced Sharon. Gregor Coleman gets the stop treatment and we know that he will come back with something much better and get through to Boot Camp.
Nicole Simpson is a genuine professional and sings almost perfectly. Quite where she fits in for the 2018 charts, though, I'm not sure but, at least, we get some decent notes and a nice performance. She almost takes it for granted that she'll make Boot Camp. She's probably seen the others.
Gregor comes back and reminds me of Paulo Nutini. Very good and very current. We'll see him again, for sure.
Sean & Conor Price are a very young Irish pair. They do All Along The Watchtower. Wow. That makes the programme worth watching. Marvellous. I wouldn't be surprised to find that this is already a YouTube hit. SYCO will have them signed whatever happens and Simon says that they shouldn't let anyone change the way they dress, perform etc.
Sunday now and the Production Team have clearly got a thing about the intros as this time we get some high voltage effort for no apparent reason.
We're in Liverpool and you expect good things. Megan Byrne is quite good. Quirky, strange singing style but she could be interesting with some work.
Now we get the sad cases. A very annoying old bloke, a sad funny blonde lady and some idiot called Jamesy. Oh dear, why show these people?
Finally we get someone decent. Chloe Rose Moyle is 16 and has an Ellie Goulding sound. She's excellent.
A couple of just OK people, Harry Holmes and Imogen Harrison who get through to Boot Camp easily but may not be obvious candidates to go too much further.
Descendance are a mother and daughter pair. The daughter's great, very modern and good to watch. The mother is a waste of space. If the daughter can appear on her own she'll be around for a while.
Some woman called Ashley who prefers to be named Queen A is just sad and has an annoying personality and very wide cheeks.
The Clique call themselves The Click and are very camp. Louis likes them a lot. One is extremely tall, even taller, perhaps than Rylan Clark.
Talia from Essex is good, natural with a strong voice. I like her.
The show ends with Gary Barker and he also gets the 'Have you got another song?' treatment. Of course he has another song. It's on the list in front of you as they all submit a few that they'll perform if asked. His second song is the classic Change Is Gonna Come and he has a great earthy, bluesy sound but I still don't see him getting that far, despite the last spot for the weekend.
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