Live Shows; Week 1

Sixteen acts. that's quite a lot to fit in, especially as we'll see all of them with reasonably full-length tracks as opposed to the one-liners we've had to put up with for quite a few so far.

Dermot has his proper job back now.

Misunderstood

A good choice for a reliable and impressive first act. WHAM for 2018 perhaps?! It's a song about chewing gum which they've written themselves. That's cool but, whilst the song's OK it's not great. But this pair for a major contender. Robbie says they're the bookies' favourite. Not sure about that but they're certainly in the running.

Anthony

You have to feel happy that he's made it this far. Now I was worried that he might crack up but he did very well. Actually an excellent job of We've Got Issues. I can see him getting support and can't imagine him being 16th this week. Everyone likes him although he isn't going to win.

Danny

The old-style guy who is only 37. He really seems a lot older. Peter Dickinson introduces him as 'Anthony Russell'! Oh dear. Bit of a balls-up and he gets to restart. The song's Hero. All a bit cruise ship. He does have a strong voice and accurate notes and is an excellent singer but he's not a contender for this year's winner. Nice chap but he'll go soon enough.

Molly

Looking very good - someone for whom the makeover has worked well and she seems much older than a mere 16. Fake Love is the song and it's a confident performance. In complete contrast to Danny, she's modern and is a pop star more or less ready to go. Nice personality and this girl should do well. She just needs to be more than ordinary as she is up against some cool acts this year.

Janice

Stylish lady. But she's not one of the cool ones I was talking about. The song Clarity? was not great and seemed to suit a West End stage better than this one. She struggled quite a bit which surprised me as she is one of the most experienced here. Quite average.

Brendan

I'm expecting something good from this guy. He may not be cool but he is good and, unlike the others who are not cool but good, he has a remarkable talent and comes across well in this sort of show. He has bags of big show experience, having represented Ireland in the Eurovision Song Contest. Admittedly he didn't do very well but that was a poor song. He certainly can manage the huge venue and I see him making it this time. He had a slow build and it was great but missing something. He really ought to be safe but he'll need to impress more with his choice of tracks next time.

Bella

Merging Beautiful with some rap style delivery is going to be her trademark. She's good at this sort of thing. It's current and should keep her around for a while. She is a confident performer and a good personality who is going to make it, I'm sure. Maybe not win but she'll be there next week for sure.

Armstrong

Story Of My Life is his song. Nice job. He starts with his own rap and that switches smoothly into the more familiar refrain. That's original and quite powerful. A brave effort but weak in places and I'm not sure how the voters will go for that. Simon says that he and Bella are his favourites. 

Giovanni

He is in the Bat Out Of Hell musical and does eight shows a week so this guy is one experienced fellow in that respect. You almost wonder why he needs to be on this show as he clearly is well-established and the success of that show provides fame and, I should think, opportunity. He is excellent with a brilliant performance, basically showing most of the others how to do it. Saturday Night's All Right For Fighting was super. I don't know how voters will take to him, though, as he doesn't look so good on the big screen and isn't immediately likeable. I hope he gets to be around a bit longer. Robbie says he wants to perform with him. That's quite a compliment.

United Vibe

A new name. Previous Vibe 5. Neither are great but I don't think it will matter a great deal. I reckon they were fortunate to get here. Slow Hands is a track that seems a bit of a 1D copy. They seem OK but nothing special so far. Nice enough looking lads and some can sing well but they lack any 'X Factor'.

Shan

This girl has been my favourite to win. She does Imagine. Now that's a big song. Wow! That's the big moment we've been waiting for on this show. Superb. Her voice control, pitch, performance - all were 100%. Very good indeed and she is surely a real star.

Ola

Another person with his own number. I thought it was called Jubilant but then I realised it was Jiggle It which kinda loses some of my enthusiasm. It's all good fun and the discos will like this in the summer. He's a great performer too and you tend to want to see him do well but I do feel he can't last that long.

Scarlett

She's a bit less orange now. Does Natural Woman. A good performance, excellent voice and she's been dressed and presented well. Nice job but I don't see her as much of a future star. She's likeable now but it is all a bit karaoke for me. Simon says he thought she was a bit of a pub singer! Bearing in mind she's actually one of his four that is very surprising! I feel her days are strictly numbered. She's made it to the Live Shows but that's it now.

LMA Choir

The Circle Of Life is a good number for this mass of people. It's all very good stuff. Nice presentation and performances. I just don't think they will get very much further.

Acacia & Aliyah

Not A Star any more. Finesse is the Bruno Mars number. I'm not sure if that was a great song choice but they gave it their all. They're so young but do look great on stage and work well together. Very smart and 'in' for 2018. Almost the most 'in' act that there is this year. Everyone was waiting for some more 'street' type stuff, though, which didn't come and that might disappoint the voters. They may just scrape through this week but need a big improvement next time.

Dalton

This is the show closer and a nice spot to get. Interesting. He was one of the best in the auditions and tries Life On Mars tonight. Beautifully done and not easy. Very good vocals indeed. He was one of the best for sure. Super contender who ought to be around for many weeks yet.

We learn that two will go tomorrow night. One being the act with the lowest public vote and the other being the loser in a sing-off between the other two in the bottom three.

I see Danny and United Vibe in the most trouble but also suspect we may see Janice, Gio, LMA and Acacia & Aliyah in the bottom six. I can't really call it at this stage but, if pressed will say Janice and Acacia & Aliyah to go.

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Can you believe it? Ola and Amstrong go, the panel saving Janice.

S15 Auditions: Week 1 Pt 2 Not Eurovision

If you think that there seems to be a lot of 'filling' at the start then you could well be right; there are just five acts to come this evening. That could be a record low.

In amongst the introduction you'll see the registration XF2 again but this time on a white Mercedes. Does someone really switch the plates before people arrive at the Stadium? I won't tell the DVLA if you don't.

First on the stage is a very bouncy chap called Ola. He comes from Trinidad and Tobago. A talented guy for sure. I have no idea what genre he is doing but it's all good fun and he can certainly perform. It's not the usual fare and is sufficiently different to seem new although it probably isn't going to see him winning anything. The lighting makes it difficult to figure out whether he's young or old but he's certainly energetic and all credit too to the two dancers he has with him but wo get ignored by the judges. I'm not sure what he'll do in the Abba round, though.

Next comes Brendan Murray. He's the first young lad we see this year and his Irish accent and general attitude makes me think we should have something good here. We learn that he was lead singer in a band at 16 but they only had limited success across the water. I sort of recognise him when he starts singing but can't remember where at first. He has a brilliant voice and sings really well. Despite that, Simon stops him and asks him to do a Kate Bush number, Woman's Work, which the guy says he doesn't know. It's all a bit strange and the rest of the panel are left out of the picture. My guess is that this is another set-up for the show and is all pretty well-rehearsed. Brendan goes away.

Several more come and go, also being told that they have the wrong songs but we never learn much more about them so maybe they never do get the right ones. But we do get Brendan back and he has a couple of goes at getting started before, with lyrics in hand, he gets past the first line. He does a first class job of the track and we have a potential winner here in my view.

Now I realise why he seemed familiar. He had been Ireland's entry in the 2017 Eurovision contest but failed to qualify. In fact he only came 13th out of 17 which was pretty poor. The song wasn't great but that still struck me as pretty cruel at the time.

So I may revise my idea about us choosing our entry for Eurovision 2019 from this year's winner!

That took up best part of the show. Someone else we've seen before turns up next. Mark from the Reason reached Judges Houses in 2010 - interestingly, the same year that 1D were there and no one of the 1D guys is on the panel judging. Mark tries Careless Whisper. It's not great, to be honest. Does he get another chance? No. Pretty harsh and he's out. Simon says that he can see no chance that he could get a first grade writer to produce a track for him and, as he doesn't write his own material, there's no hope. I imagine he could say that about a lot of contestants he does see through.

Jackie's next and it's a sort of Susan Boyle moment. She's getting on a bit, works on a farm and hasn't exactly dressed to the nines for the event. You know she'll be good. And, yes, she's an excellent singer and seems genuinely surprised at the audience's enthusiastic reaction. It's good TV, I suppose, and, of course she gets through, although I am not so sure she'll be any easier to write for or sell a great deal more than the other guy might have done.

Last up is Anthony Russell who dropped out last year. He'd been doing well and was the one who looked manic and on the edge of a nervous breakdown every week. He would have made the Live Shows and I reckon he will make it this time if he keeps himself together. Nice to learn that louis Tomlinson had played quite a significant part in rescuing the guy last year - I think they'd net as Louis was helping Simon at Judges Houses. The audience like characters like Anthony. They did spent one hell of a lot of the programme on this, though.

One thing we did learn during the show was that the Final will be on 1 December. I've been working backwards and I really am hoping that this will mean we don't get the indecent rush through Live Shows as we had last year. There would appear to be time for a gradual one-out-each-week flow with a weekend for each of Bootcamp, Six Chair Challenge and Judges Houses, as well as another four audition shows. So you do the maths - for every extra (cheap-to-make) audition show that will mean one more person getting sent home in one week's Live Show (expensive to make).

One good duo, three out-of-tune young girls and some old folk start the series.

The first thing you notice is that there's a lot more gold - the new graphics are very shiny and the red has made way for silver and, yes, more gold. I like the way the show goes pretty much straight into auditions and these are taking place at venues with an audience - and a seemingly quite big one at that. It's quite a contrast to the cardboard sets that we used to see with three judges - invariably someone was otherwise engaged - no Dermot and performers with little more than a cassette player on the floor if they were lucky.

Simon appears first in a rolls with an XF2 number plate and then it's another Rolls with XF3. Or perhaps they're Bentleys. You're left wondering who's got XF1.

It's not a good start. An odd mix of lads calling themselves No Label are all over the place and an appalling last note makes us wonder just what this new series has to offer if that's what the producers chose to start with.

The next act gives us all that 'Oh dear..' feeling as an oldish-looking bloke appears. Danny Tetley says he's knackered, having just flown in from Benidorm where he says he performs on stage. He looks as if he hasn't slept. I'm thinking he's in his 50s and it's quite a shock to hear he's only 37. Apparently he was a contestant on pop idol in 2001. When he does sing he's pretty good but hardly anyone that is going to break into the market in 2018. A good entertainer but really he would not have stood a chance in previous series. This year he gets through. That'll probably be it, though.

Next we have a duo called Misunderstood. Now this is more like it. Modern, talented and a bit different with some cool dance moves from the pair. They look good and sound good with their own track called Juicy Fruit. You can't help but notice that they have a professional and quite obvious backing track running and that helps promote a pretty competent audition. I don't recall that being allowed before - people just sang a capella and hoped for the best most of the time.

Also interesting is the full-length auditions we're getting - that's a good thing, although I may well regret that when the bad ones come along.

Next we get three blonde girls, one after the other. Kezia is 15 and really not very good but Robbie wants to put her in a girl band. She has a crystal voice that could be good be she's so nervous it's not a great audition at all. Nevertheless we'll be seeing her again.

Charlotte follows and she's even more out of tune but she gets through too - as part of some future band.

Molly is the third and I'm thinking that she's be in the band too. She's got a bigger voice and is an improvement on the other two but still nothing great. She's through too and maybe not as part of that group after all. I just sit here thinking that none of these would have made it in previous years.

Louis is very OTT with his praise and you get the feeling generally that everyone has been told to be positive, happy and smiling, come what may. Everyone he sees he says is 'amazing' but that doesn't leave him much room to praise some real talent as and when it appears.

Some weird bloke comes next with a dramatic prepared entrance. He is pretty useless and decidedly strange so it's just as well we don't get to see much of him.

Then we see some very, very strange act - like a family of sorts. A woman sings and she might not have been too bad but the people with her just look extraordinarily dumb and dance ridiculously badly. Whoever dressed them needs their head examined. Needless to say they don't last long. Not even funny. Just odd.

Then Janice Robinson comes along. She says she wrote Dreamer, a classic rave number from the 1990s. She can certainly sing and perform although she seems oddly out of place here. You tend to think that she needn't have to perform and is already in the business and should be doing fine but, perhaps, that is not the case. Who knows. We'll find out more at the next round no doubt.

We end the first edition of Series 15 with some bloke called Andy Hatton who is a major Robbie fan. He kicks off with some odd number and he just sounds weird. Simon gets him to do another song. This sounds rehearsed and staged to me. It's Angels and he finishes up with Robbie on stage singing with him and everyone is happy and singing along too. If anything, it goes on a bit long. The bloke sounds a lot better now and is vaguely in tune. He could be a Robbie tribute act and do reasonably well amongst the 300 other Robbie tribute acts that I guess must be around these days. He's through to Bootcamp, assuming there is a Bootcamp.

Not the most memorable of starts and no obvious contender in this first hour or so. It's a pleasant enough start to the series, I suppose, but they'll need someone a lot better to keep a decent audience in weeks to follow.

I remember thinking that there's no way Louis Walsh would have been up on stage singing with anyone.