I am beginning to think that we may as well skip the auditions and just wait for Judges Houses editions

Things are really not looking good for this show at the moment. After redeeming itself somewhat last week it descends again to some pretty boring acts as we start with three failures.

I don't know whether the producers are trying to amuse the 8pm audience but it doesn't work. Half-way into this edition we finally get a few good auditions. First is Gifty who reached the last round of Boot Camp last year but lost her voice. She looks good and you hope she'll sound good too after what has gone before. And she is. Excellent. I cam see her going a long way. As long as she doesn't lose her voice again! One to watch.

Now we switch time zones again as Nicole appears where Mel B had been for a while earlier. I suspect it is a group audition day too as the room behind the scenes where they wait is now full of them.

Girl Next Door are four young girls who look the part. They're modern, cheerful and you can imagine them having fun on the stage. They sound a bit amateur and the dancing is a bit like they'd do in their bedrooms in front of a mirror with a hairbrush but I like them. It's a good audition. Nicole's not at all sure, though, but they get through anyway. The girls are hoping that Nicole doesn't get the groups! (She doesn't).

5AM is another modern group with a fairly individual look and sound that is very modern. They improved as they got going and turned in a good audition. They seem pretty familiar with the stage so I am guessing they have some experience. Simon says they're the 'best group they've seen this year'. (But we don't know how many they've seen!) Ones to watch anyway. Louis likes them a lot.

Now it's back to individual auditions and this is dire. They're in Manchester where you'd expect some good acts but this lot are useless. Some actually get through but I have no idea how. I am not going to waste time writing about them as it was just some sort of comedy show with jokes that didn't work for me. Later Rylan does make a huge effort to make one of the acts a bit more interesting and the Friday Night guy is recycled but even that gets tiresome after a while.

With so little to report I didn't publish that lot, hoping that Sunday might bring some improvement in Part Two. It was a marginally better hour and we get to see a few that are potential Live Show contestants.

After a quite amusing time with Faye Horne who is actually quite good but makes Simon laugh and has that look that guys of a certain age can't resist. I can't see her getting far but she should get signed up by some advertising agency as she just has 'the look' and could sell the over 40s anything.

I'll skip the next couple of disasters. Suffice it to say an old bloke with pork pie hat and a woman fork lift truck driver won't be in the Live Shows this year. The Brooks probably will, however. They're 17 year-old twins who auditioned and reached Louis' Judges House two years ago. They were pretty good then and certainly deserve a place there again on what I've seen so far this year. Although this was not the best of auditions in my view, they're good looking and have bags of appeal and they can sing. Very marketable for a year or two too.

Two more chunks of nonsense and then we meet Ivy Grace Paredes from the Philippines. It seems that every year there will be someone from The Philippines getting quite far. It may be a while before anyone beats 4th Impact's success but this lady has a chance. She is a little older than the four youngsters but is  attractive still and a good singer. Her audition had good bits and some not so good bits but I have a feeling she'll have quite a wide appeal, if someone gives her the right tracks to sing.

Again a couple of nonsense acts go by and we get Olivia Garcia. She has a great name for a start and looks lovely. Only 16 but she comes across as more mature and certainly sings with professionalism but without losing appeal as a pop star. I like this girl and she'll do well. Very talented and she even takes on the awfully difficult New York which Paloma Faith did and few can match. Nice.

Last up is Anna Lousie. I found her quite tedious and, yes, she sand OK but it was all the sort of act we've seem s often before. She gets rave reviews but i think that may largely have been at the end of a bad day.

That was not the best of weekend shows. I do hope these auditions don't last much longer . It seems to me that talent is thin on the ground and the sooner we get through to the later stages the better. There will, I am sure, be a dozen acts worth making the Live Shows well worth watching but the process of getting there may not be that great television unless the producers can start concentrating on the best and saving us from the worst and simply unamusing stuff.

A good start for both The X and The Xtra Factors in 2016!

Here we go again. Dermot doesn't exactly twirl - he's probably saving that for the Live Shows - but he is back as are Louis Walsh, Sharon Osbourne and Nicole Scherzinger, joining Simon Cowell on the panel of this year's X Factor.

After a disappointing run last year in terms of ratings it is hoped that bringing back the older panel will give the show a more comfortable, warmer feel that Rita and Nick simply didn't provide. There are usually at least one or two acts that we see or hear quite a lot of in the following seven months between one series ending and the next starting but, apart from the expected hit for Louisa immediately after the Final and a recent collaboration with Clean Bandit, no-one else seems to have made much impact at all.

I had expected 4th Impact to do just that, not because of their name but they were fun and lively and I thought they'd get snapped up by SYCO and launched on the kids pretty quickly. They are around still but haven't exactly made the Big Time yet.

There is a lot of expectation for X Factor this year, a sort of last push for the flagging weekend shows that were once the most popular shows on UK television.

The start has been good, if a bit too warm and friendly, although we do have to remember that these first audition shows are all edited and put together specifically to bring certain emotions and create the right environment to try to hook us before we switch over to Strictly Come Dancing next week. Actually I am pretty sure most families will simply watch one and record the other.

Yes Lad kick off proceedings in a cheerful, boy band sort of way. Five Manchester personalities who can sing really well. Excellent start, especially when you remember that these people are singing without instruments or digital enhancement in a basic room with four people staring at them. Some get a bit of accompaniment but even that won't disguise missed notes or poor tuning. We'll see more of them.

Someone called Zac comes and goes and is a bit odd. Let's move on.

Samantha has a grandad and a nice back story, fortunately kept brief. Let's hope they keep them all that short. She may not have the 'pop' factor and could suit the West End stage better but at 16 that's a good audition. One to watch.

Christian Burroughs has a guitar and does 'Country Roads' in an honest, if nervous, audition. Then he gets a second chance and performs something he's written himself which is excellent. Lots of potential there. Another one to watch.

James Wilson lives in a caravan in Yorkshire. He has a nice tone and you want him to succeed. He forgets his words but you know he'll get through as he has lots of appeal as the older guy.

In Edinburgh we meed Richard in a joke spot. Move on. Caitlyn next. She's good. Very good and packed with emotion when singing about her father.

Ryan Lawrie is the first 'modern' performer we've seen. Nice version of the Vamps 'Cecelia' which I remember from Simon & Garfunkel days. Naturally good, as Christina would say. Another one to watch.

Melissa comes from Gateshead. Quite why she's in the Edinburgh section I don't know. She's been on stage before and knows what she's doing. Accurate singing and good but pretty uninspiring. It's interesting how the room auditions really do mean that if you can't sing you can't sing and it's obvious. This girl can but she has tough competition.

After some non-entities we get to Honey G who is a bit annoying but clearly the producers have decided to make her an early star for the show. She's a harsh urban type. All very modern but not very appealing on TV. She looks a bit scary but not as scary as many who have made the Live Shows in the past now I think of it!

Sunday's show continues the good feeling with a very Scottish Eddie Lee who dresses like Simon. It's all a good laugh but let's get on with the show, please. He sings Andy Williams' 'Can't Help Falling In Love With You' one word at a time. Not good. He's also 51.

For something completely different and maybe my first tip for a Final is Saara from Finland,. She sings a brilliant version of Sia's 'Chandelier'. Very, very good. Perhaps even too seriously good to win but she deserves to do well. A genuine artist.

Following on the good theme we have James Hughes with 'I'd Rather Go Blind'. Nice looking lad that I reckon we'll see a lot moire of.

Another good one - Emily Middlemas who auditioned a couple of years ago at the ripe old age of 15.She made Judges Houses so simply has to go a long way this year. Starts with Stevie Wonder's 'Master Blaster' in a gentle but competent audition.

Next we have a few of the joke acts and they take up a bit more time than I would have liked but I guess they'll make some people laugh. The last good one for the weekend is Rebekah Ryan from Tamworth. She had a single in the lower end of the charts 22 years ago and now wants to try to get back on the scene. The back story is a bit long and emotional but she eventually puts in a lovely performance that will have most of the older audience in tears. I'm not sure how far she should go in terms of how she'll compare as a star with the competition but she certainly makes good TV and so will be around for a while yet.

So, watch out for Saara from Finland, Yes Lad, Christian Burroughs, James Hughes and Emily Middlemas. Possibles are Rebekah Ryan, Samantha Lavery, Caitlyn and Ryan Lawrie.

After each main show you can switch over to ITV2, or whatever channel is used in other places, and there we have Rylan Clark and Matt Edmondson. An inspired choice there. They can both be risky but are really talented as presenters and will definitely have appeal across a wider audience to help the ratings when they start totalling up viewing numbers. The first two Xtra Factor shows have been excellent entertainment and so much better than the last couple of years. As well as lots more from some of the current contestants we also get to see acts from old editions brought back to life in various ways. Some sing, some don't but it is quite fun!

A good start. Let's hope the talent coming on the shows is good enough to produce some exciting Live Shows and some genuine stars for Britain.

Rylan's Psychic Could Be Right

For the first time this series the bookies got it right last week. This week they have Rylan as such a clear favourite to go I struggle to write that I disagree. Of the £10,600 bets placed with Betfair at the time of writing this afternoon, a massive £7000, nearly 70% has been on Rylan. On Old Baloney going there is almost the entire balance, 27% with next to nothing placed on any of Union J, James, Ella or Jahmene. In fact the bets on Jahmene going total just £30, a miniscule 0.3%.

But I am going to disagree and here's why. Regular readers will know that I have wanted Christopher Maloney gone since he got through to Bootcamp. And you do have to wonder about the sanity of the judges who selected those Overs to go through to Judges' Houses. Gary made some odd choices too but he didn't have the best six to choose from.

Anyway, here's how I think things might work out. Assuming there is a bottom two for the judges to choose from, there are only a few feasible pairings. Rylan v Christopher has to be the most likely so let's deal with that one. Gary will save Christopher. Nicole will save Rylan so it's down to Tulisa and Louis. Now both have made it pretty damn clear that they don't see Christopher as an act they want to see continuing and must surely vote for him to go. Christopher's only chance of survival in that pairing would be if one of them did support him and take it to deadlock when he may have the higher public vote.

In any other pairing that involved Christopher then there's no way the other three judges would send Union J, Jahmene, James or Ella home. Indeed, even Gary would have trouble justifying retaining Christopher against any of them.

There is, of course, the awful scenario in which he is still not in the bottom two. Let's be quite clear what that means: it means he is more popular than at least one of Union J, Jahmene, James or Ella. I really refuse to believe that there are that many annoying voters who prefer him over Jahmene, James or Ella. That leaves Union J, who we know he has already beaten at least once. So that puts Union J and, presumably Rylan in the bottom two. That's what the big money must be assuming: someone other than Maloney up against Rylan and hence the Rylan exit in week 7 (indeed - as his psychic friend predicted!)

Remember, though, that Rylan has been getting decent votes of late with the public genuinely warming to him. If he was going to go then it would have been after last week's pretty lame performance. If he does a reasonable job and does actually escape the bottom two then that would mean Christopher would have to have beaten two of the others in the polling. Now, if that happens it would be a ridiculous Ella v James, Jahmene v Union J or similar bottom 2. Cue protests, frustrated judges' remarks etc.

Any scenario that has Old Baloney remaining in this competition implies that it hasn't just been a particularly good performance by him in a week when the others do badly but that some old grannies out there believe he is a better singer / performer / potential British chart act than the rest. 

We could be in Steve Brookstein, Andy Abraham, Leon Jackson land, folks. God (i.e. Simon) help us.

Week 1 Result: Producers 1. Carolynne Didn't.

 

The first results show. Wow! If SYCO were looking for headlines in the tabloids, a mass of Twitter messages and to hit as many other publicity buttons as they could to boost ratings then they did a good job with this show.

Dermot raced through the acts that were safe - he had ten of those and calling out District3's name between Ella's and Lucy's was the first surprise. Union J, Christopher, Carolynne and Ryan were the four left standing. Being 'in no particular order', putting Union J on the safe side of the stage was predictable as they may well have had one of the biggest votes, despite a lacklustre performance last night.

That left us with Christopher, Carolynne and Rylan. We guessed that Christopher, having only just been brought back from obscurity with public wild card votes, was safe and it was, indeed, Carolynne and Rylan left standing as the two acts with the lowest votes.

That was quite a surprise. Both had put in reasonable performances last night. Both had been in tune and stronger than several of the others but this is all about who the people actually voting prefer and, certainly to me, Rylan had not garnered as much of an early following as I'd expected and Carolynne had just not impressed anyone with a song that her natural supporters may have recognised. She may have fared considerably differently with a safe standard as she was confident, looked really attractive and sang very well but just not in a way that appealed to enough people pressing the numbers on their mobiles on a Saturday night.

Their sing-off performances were both good. Rylan was in his element with an excellent choice of One Night Only which I wondered might be apt. He was in tune and it was a strong performance with a gorgeous background and everything just worked for him. Carolynne was faultless and produced a stunning performance which all her supporters must have wished she'd done the night before. As she finished to impressive applause from everyone, she was the obvious choice to stay if anyone was to be judged on those performances.

Betfair's odds showed Carolynne favourite to go at the beginning of the sing-off. As she sang those odds reversed and Rylan became the clear favourite to go instead.

Now the fun starts. You know that Gary would support her and Nicole would support Rylan so it was down to Tulisa and Louis. You can also be pretty sure that the judges had been tipped off beforehand as to the voting and would have chatted about what to do. My guess is the producers had told Louis to take it to deadlock and Gary to argue and do something like walk off in disgust.

So that is more or less exactly what happened. At the end of the day, Gary would have to accept that Carolynne's bottom place in the voting wasn't boding well for her in future weeks and Rylan does have that entertainment value too which, in the absence of a Jedward or Wagner this year, the show seems to insist on.

Louis played along brilliantly and got everyone annoyed, not least good old Dermot O'Leary desperately watching the clock and trying to get a decision out of him. In fact, Louis first said he was saving Carolynne and you really did have to feel sorry for her when he clarified that, well, completely reversed it if we're being accurate, and said that he wanted to leave it to the public vote - hence saving Rylan.

That gave us tonight's unexpected result of Carolynne falling at this first hurdle and Rylan living for another week. It may also have given SYCO  better viewing figures for next week by the time the headline writers have had their day!