Saturday 1 September 2018

One good duo, three out-of-tune young girls and some old folk start the series.

The first thing you notice is that there's a lot more gold - the new graphics are very shiny and the red has made way for silver and, yes, more gold. I like the way the show goes pretty much straight into auditions and these are taking place at venues with an audience - and a seemingly quite big one at that. It's quite a contrast to the cardboard sets that we used to see with three judges - invariably someone was otherwise engaged - no Dermot and performers with little more than a cassette player on the floor if they were lucky.

Simon appears first in a rolls with an XF2 number plate and then it's another Rolls with XF3. Or perhaps they're Bentleys. You're left wondering who's got XF1.

It's not a good start. An odd mix of lads calling themselves No Label are all over the place and an appalling last note makes us wonder just what this new series has to offer if that's what the producers chose to start with.

The next act gives us all that 'Oh dear..' feeling as an oldish-looking bloke appears. Danny Tetley says he's knackered, having just flown in from Benidorm where he says he performs on stage. He looks as if he hasn't slept. I'm thinking he's in his 50s and it's quite a shock to hear he's only 37. Apparently he was a contestant on pop idol in 2001. When he does sing he's pretty good but hardly anyone that is going to break into the market in 2018. A good entertainer but really he would not have stood a chance in previous series. This year he gets through. That'll probably be it, though.

Next we have a duo called Misunderstood. Now this is more like it. Modern, talented and a bit different with some cool dance moves from the pair. They look good and sound good with their own track called Juicy Fruit. You can't help but notice that they have a professional and quite obvious backing track running and that helps promote a pretty competent audition. I don't recall that being allowed before - people just sang a capella and hoped for the best most of the time.

Also interesting is the full-length auditions we're getting - that's a good thing, although I may well regret that when the bad ones come along.

Next we get three blonde girls, one after the other. Kezia is 15 and really not very good but Robbie wants to put her in a girl band. She has a crystal voice that could be good be she's so nervous it's not a great audition at all. Nevertheless we'll be seeing her again.

Charlotte follows and she's even more out of tune but she gets through too - as part of some future band.

Molly is the third and I'm thinking that she's be in the band too. She's got a bigger voice and is an improvement on the other two but still nothing great. She's through too and maybe not as part of that group after all. I just sit here thinking that none of these would have made it in previous years.

Louis is very OTT with his praise and you get the feeling generally that everyone has been told to be positive, happy and smiling, come what may. Everyone he sees he says is 'amazing' but that doesn't leave him much room to praise some real talent as and when it appears.

Some weird bloke comes next with a dramatic prepared entrance. He is pretty useless and decidedly strange so it's just as well we don't get to see much of him.

Then we see some very, very strange act - like a family of sorts. A woman sings and she might not have been too bad but the people with her just look extraordinarily dumb and dance ridiculously badly. Whoever dressed them needs their head examined. Needless to say they don't last long. Not even funny. Just odd.

Then Janice Robinson comes along. She says she wrote Dreamer, a classic rave number from the 1990s. She can certainly sing and perform although she seems oddly out of place here. You tend to think that she needn't have to perform and is already in the business and should be doing fine but, perhaps, that is not the case. Who knows. We'll find out more at the next round no doubt.

We end the first edition of Series 15 with some bloke called Andy Hatton who is a major Robbie fan. He kicks off with some odd number and he just sounds weird. Simon gets him to do another song. This sounds rehearsed and staged to me. It's Angels and he finishes up with Robbie on stage singing with him and everyone is happy and singing along too. If anything, it goes on a bit long. The bloke sounds a lot better now and is vaguely in tune. He could be a Robbie tribute act and do reasonably well amongst the 300 other Robbie tribute acts that I guess must be around these days. He's through to Bootcamp, assuming there is a Bootcamp.

Not the most memorable of starts and no obvious contender in this first hour or so. It's a pleasant enough start to the series, I suppose, but they'll need someone a lot better to keep a decent audience in weeks to follow.

I remember thinking that there's no way Louis Walsh would have been up on stage singing with anyone.



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