Dermot O'Leary gets the show on the road, just making himself heard above Peter Dickson's upper case introductions. There's an in joke between Cheryl and Simon as he almost mispronounces Cheryl's double-barrell surname.
We hear about the wild cards and who they picked at the start. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Cheryl picks idiot-dad-dancing Stevi who is not going to survive as long as old Baloney cos he simply cannot sing but it's still a major drag. The others are, as I had blogged before, Overload, Jack Walton and Lola. Good choices there.
Free votes using an 'app'. I wonder if it's just Apple? Must check. No, Android too, thank goodness. For the first time in 10 years I'll actually vote!
Two to go tomorrow night. Starting the show is Paul. That's quite a task but he is someone who seems reliable and he has a good track too. Interesting that it was written by the person who should have won last year! The excellent Ella Henderson, showing that coming 4th or 5th isn't such a bad deal!
Very confident and mostly accurate - bit off when he went for a note in the middle that just wasn't there - and a cool start which he should be proud of. He can now relax for a couple of hours and watch the show.
Talking of Ella, we have a similar talent in Lola who is on next. She's looking good but Brian has put her in a very strange and unattractive dress which makes her bottom half look massive. Maybe it is. Nice, well-paced performance, with no risks and none of the OTT stuff she did in some auditions and which left her unselected. Simon agrees with the dress. Good job for the first girl and she ought to be around too.
Overload Generation and I Kissed A Girl. OK, I can see why Louis chose that. They're good, together and you get the feeling they're used to each other and they do, of course, have a One Direction look and feel about them! They should get plenty of teenage free votes and deservedly so too. No reason for them to go either. Big audience response. The judges are a bit tough on them.
Simon's first act is Jay James. He wasn't that great at Judges' Houses and I nearly had him out of the top 3 although he would have made any top 4. A very good performance this time. A little weak and tinny at the top end of his range and most of the song stayed there. However it was a good production. I didn't recognise the song at all. It was a No. 1 apparently so I should have done. He didn't look so good in the shadows but at the end he looks nice in the limelight. Good song choice, even if I didn't know it. Likeable guy. Ought to do OK. Grannies will love him but not as much as Andreas when he comes along.
Stephanie is possibly the prettiest of the 16 and has had experience in the finals of BGT. However, she's off key and it's not until the backing track comes in that she's sounding good. That's a shame because she's got bags of appeal but, if she even survives, she has a huge amount of work to do to stay in this competition based on that. Very average. She is in danger this week.
Jack is back. He was OK at Judges' Houses. Not exceptional but he had potential. With guitar at a microphone he is refreshing and the track Only Girl In The World suits his style. Nicely presented. Good job. He will survive for a while and is quite interesting too. Possibly the best so far.
Next up is Chloe. She is one of the odd ones. Amazingly talented but I have yet to be convinced she fits X Factor. I like the girl and hope she does, at least, having got this far, proceed a long way as she will be entertaining and reliable without being boring as I think some of them will be. Not my choice of track for her at all and I would worry whether the voting audience will want to press their buttons for her. I don't think she'll have much support.
Louis tells us the Boy Band is to be called Stereokicks. Oh. OK. That doesn't work. Roar has too many places where they could come apart. I honestly think eight guys is just too many. First guy up is nervous and wobbles a lot. Together there is something solid but it's all a bit dull. The audience like the lads, though. So I suppose they'll be here next week.
Stevi Ritchie next. God help us. Sinitta was dead right and I even think Simon feels he has been tricked by Cheryl with this act. Having said that, his eye for fun TV will have caught the possibilities of this likeable fool. So bad. Mel B has to ask and she does. Is this a joke? It will be. Reminds me of one of Simon's previous winners, Steve Brookstein but worse.
Lauren brings us back to reality and gives us a very unusual version of Happy. It almost misses the point of the song but she is spot-on with notes and looks good. There is something missing but it's more a production issue than anything else. The crowd like her. Smart, as Simon says. She'll be here next week and for a while yet. Second best so far.
Blond Electra have been bottom of the bookies lists so they've got a lot of minds to change. They have a chance to do that and, who knows, maybe Louis can find the ideal track fro them to do just that. I am hoping they'll have fun and hit the right notes too. Good start. Kids In America is a good choice. Well done Louis. They look old, though. Well, one does and that's not right as they're so young and rebellious-sounding. I like them, despite the German-sounding vocals. Mel B was right as she said how they did turn it into a performance. As good as Louis' last famous act - JEdward!!
The way Dermot pronounces their name - sounds like One Direction!!
Ben Haenow is singing Simon & Garfunkel's Bridge Over Troubled Water. That's tough. He was one of the best at Judges' Houses so I'm hopeful tonight that he'll excel. Someone has to. Yup. Nice job. He has the voice and the confidence sorted, if the pace was just a bit slow. For Week 1, that's safe and sensible. Good reception and the four judges will be right with him. Finalist, I suspect.
Jake Quickenden and Fleur East next.
Jake is good. Nice performance and, whilst safe, that was all he needed to do to proceed. He is a popular act and Simon reckons he'll be around for a few weeks. He could get to a final on present comparisons. That would be interesting. Ben would win if the choices were right.
Fleur I had high hopes for. She was actually very accurate and did a good job but it sort of fell flat. All About The Base is the current #1 and a huge risk. The judges gave her great reviews, though, with the audience liking her too. Nice job. She's done better and could be a bit more adventurous in my opinion but she'll be well pleased with that.
Only The Young and the current favourite, Andreas from Italy coming up.
Jaihouse Rock. Great start. These guys are good. Switching to The Beatles Twist And Shout and that went all the way through so you do have to wonder why the started with Jailhouse Rock. I loved that and it went down a storm with the audience and it was like - at last, someone who is really good and enjoys being here. It lifted the show. Mel B was harsh. probably because they were far better than anything she'd done. They like old style stuff and that's great to hear as they put a different spin on things. Best so far. Just
Andreas Faustini. I think people will love this fellow. He's not an X Factor winner for me and, even though his accent is hardly noticeable in this track and his English is generally far better than many foreign acts we've had on these shows in the past, he sounds a bit laboured and it's just a little predictable. What a good voice he has, though. He is still a bit lost in the production but there are signs that he is going to do very well. Like Chloe, I feel he shouldn't be in this competition but there you go. The crowd really do go mad and we can't hear Cheryl's review at all.
So two to go.